


I love you, in so many ways.

by luxsirius



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-22 21:59:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11389245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxsirius/pseuds/luxsirius
Summary: The many ways Park Chanyeol told Byun Baekhyun how much he loved him.





	1. prompts.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post on tumblr. A series of unrelated ChanBaek drabbles/oneshots. 
> 
> Also posted on asianfanfics under luxsirius as well!

**the way you said 'i love you'**

  1. _As a hello_
  2. ~~_With a hoarse voice, under the blankets_~~
  3. _A scream_
  4. _Over a cup of tea_
  5. _Over a beer bottle_
  6. _On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair_
  7. _As a thank you_
  8. _As an apology_
  9. _When baking chocolate chip cookies_
  10. ~~_Not said to me_~~
  11. _With a shuddering gasp_
  12. _When we lay together on the fresh spring grass_
  13. _In a letter_
  14. _A whisper in the ear_
  15. ~~_Loud, so everyone can hear_~~
  16. _Over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble_
  17. _When the broken grass litters the floor_
  18. _From very far away_
  19. _With no space left between us_
  20. ~~_As we huddle together, the storm raging outside_~~
  21. _Over your shoulder_
  22. _Muffled, from the other side of the door_
  23. ~~_Through a song_~~
  24. _Without really meaning it_
  25. _In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep_
  26. _Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave_
  27. _A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips_
  28. ~~_When I am dead_~~
  29. _Slowly, the words dripping from your tongue like honey_
  30. _Too quick, mumbled into your scarf_
  31. _In awe, the first time you realised it_
  32. ~~_In a way I can’t return_~~
  33. ~~_On a post-it note_~~
  34. _Before we jump_
  35. _As a goodbye_



_originally from:[the way you said 'i love you'](http://trash-by-vouge.tumblr.com/post/132858041745/the-way-you-said-i-love-you)._


	2. i'll never forget you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> of a love too late to confess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my gosh, please forgive me.

_**i'll never forget you.** _

 

Chanyeol hastily grabbed the bouquet placed on top of his office table and headed outside. Today was a busy day, with all the new contractors and all the new clients waiting to be entertained by the CEO, so he absolutely had no time to head outside the quarters of the company’s building. However, as much as it was a busy day, today was also a special day for the business man.

He swiftly entered his car and with one glance at the small picture he kept clipped on his dashboard, he drove off.

When he arrived at his destination, Chanyeol quickly parked near the place he knew by heart. He stepped out of his vehicle and stalked over to finally talk to the person he desperately missed.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol greeted as he took a seat. “How are you?”

“You know, today is a really busy day and I don’t actually have the luxury to stay long here, so I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol smiled, “But I’m here today, am I not? I couldn’t miss your birthday, you know that.”

“Happy birthday, Byun. I hope your old age isn’t making you forget me because I’m not forgetting you even a bit,” Chanyeol chuckled and held the flowers out.

“I brought you flowers! Pink carnations, you’re favorite. It seemed fit since I remembered you telling me how they meant ‘ _I’ll never forget you_ ’,” he smiled at the memory of his petite lover blabbering about the history of flowers and how they were used to express different things in the Victorian era.

“Oh, I think you also told me how they signified a mother’s love and I hope you know that’s not what I meant!” Chanyeol laughed before his eyes shifted downwards. His chuckles turned to choked sobs as he placed the bouquet on top of the stone that read _Byun Baekhyun_.

“You’ve been gone for so long, Baek,” he cried. “I honestly don’t know how to move on, Baek. I honestly don’t know how I can continue like this.”

Chanyeol bowed his head, letting the tears fall, “I miss you, so much Byun Baekhyun. If I only…”

He took a sharp intake of breath, “If I only stopped you from leaving. You don’t know how much I regret letting you go that night.”

Chanyeol took out a shaky hand to caress the name and the dates carved into the stone, feeling all the guilt come back to him like a weight pulling down his heart down. He ached so much for Baekhyun to return, but it was too late.

“I love you,” Chanyeol whispered. “I love you and I’m so sorry I never told you that night.”

Chanyeol sobbed violently until his body shook with every cry he let out. A cry of regret, of guilt, of a love too late to confess. Byun Baekhyun was already gone and no matter how many times Chanyeol whispered his affection, Baekhyun would not be able to hear it.

When he has calmed down and regained his composure, the CEO let out a small smile as he wiped his tears with his cuffs. Before he walked back to his car, he took one last glance on the gravestone surrounded by grass and wildflowers, like a humble flower crown for the most beautiful person resting beneath it.

A small white butterfly made its way to sit on top of the bouquet of pink Carnations as Chanyeol’s luxurious vehicle sped away.

 

**_twenty-eight — when i am dead._ **

 


	3. reminder: i love you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Park Chanyeol,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m really so lucky to have you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff, i swear.

**_reminder: i love you._ **

 

Byun Baekhyun was your typical top notch student. He aced his exams, received high marks on his card, and was favored by the professors. His classmates would ask him to tutor them and fights would erupt over who gets to be Byun Baekhyun’s groupmates for a certain project. Amazing it may be, it wasn’t entirely easy for someone to achieve all of that.

Behind those excellent grades and above average percentage in tests were sleepless nights and dangerous intakes of coffee. Thick books stacked on top of one another and his lamp shining through the darkness of his unlit shared room as he solved problem after problem.

The only thing, or person, that made everything tolerable was no other than his boyfriend Park Chanyeol.

“Baek,” said boyfriend called from his bed. They shared a room, which was convenient for the both of them because Baekhyun urged the both of them to study while Chanyeol reminded Baekhyun to not overwork himself,

Like right now.

“Yes?” Baekhyun replied, eyes still glued on his paper as he tried to figure out how to balance this certain equation.

“Come here and lie down with me,” Chanyeol pouted. “I want some cuddle time!”

Baekhyun didn’t reply, making Chanyeol frown, “Babe, it’s already nine in the evening, I think you studying from six in the morning is enough.”

The petite boy sighed and closed the book he was using as reference and placed it on top of the paper he was scribbling on. He reached to turn off his desk lamp and turned around and shuffled towards his boyfriend, plopping down beside him on the bed.

Chanyeol smiled contently as he wound his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and pulled him closer to his chest. He placed his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head, breathing in the scent of the strawberry-scented shampoo that his lover used.

“Why are you studying so hard, love?” Chanyeol asked. “Do you have a big test?”

Baekhyun scooted closer, tangling his short legs with Chanyeol’s long ones. He hid his face in the broad chest and nodded. He felt his boyfriend place a small kiss on his forehead, making him look up from his position.

“I’m just scared,” he admitted. Another con that comes with being an honor student was all the expectations people placed on you and Baekhyun never wanted to disappoint anyone.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do,” Chanyeol comforted, hugging Baekhyun tighter. He knew the weight Baekhyun carried, but sometimes he was so bothered that it drained his lover to live up to other people’s expectations. He was already amazing as he is, too bad some only see him for the numbers that could not even begin to define how remarkable Baekhyun truly is.

“You always say that,” Baekhyun pouted. Chanyeol laughed and leaned down to kiss the pout away.

“Because it’s true,” he replied. “Now sleep, you need to rest. You can waste your time studying again tomorrow anyway.”

“It’s not wast-“

“Shhh, sleep.”

Baekhyun smiled as Chanyeol enveloped him in his warm embrace. He let his head lay on his boyfriend’s chest as the tiredness from all the studying finally caught up to him. He felt a small kiss on his head before drifting off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Baekhyun woke up alone. _Chanyeol must have gone to one of his classes,_ he thought before getting up and walking to his desk. He didn’t have any classes today, and the big test was tomorrow, so he ought to study his ass off until Chanyeol pulls him to rest.

When he reached his desk, he rubbed his eyes again and again to see if what he was seeing was right. The cork board he kept above his desk was littered with post-its containing short messages to encourage Baekhyun as he studied. He looked down on his desk only to see the solution of the problem he failed to solve yesterday with a detailed explanation on the book he used.

“Park Chanyeol,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m really so lucky to have you.”

Baekhyun sat down on his chair and removed the book on top of the paper, and the yellow post-it that greeted him made him smile.

_Reminder: I love you._

And underneath was a similar blue one,

_Now, go study, love. I know you can do it._

 

**_thirty-three — on a post-it note._ **


	4. shout it out for the people at the back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Park Chanyeol, star player of the basketball team, earns his most valuable trophy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay for fluff! jock!chanyeol is just heart eyes 100% but all for baekhyun. i enjoy writing this fic prompt thing bless me pls pick a number for me?

**_shout it out for the people at the back!_ **

 

They say high school is a significant part of your life; Park Chanyeol, star player of the basketball team, crowned prom king, and desired by both girls and boys, claimed this to be a fact.

Being the center of attention whenever he simply walked down the hallway or having the loudest cheers whenever he earned the team a point during games left a damn good feeling inside his chest. Although he remained humble, Chanyeol won’t deny that this recognition made him feel special and helped him with some of his self-esteem issues.

However, the person he would be thankful to the most (other than his parents, of course) was his childhood best friend and up-until-now best friend, Byun Baekhyun.

Unlike Chanyeol, Baekhyun was more reserved. He would laugh at Chanyeol’s jokes and maybe crack one of his own, but that would only occur when he was extremely comfortable with that person, which was the problem because there were only a few people who he felt this kind of comfort with. This made people think that Baekhyun was an introvert, indifferent, nerd-ish person. It didn’t offend Baekhyun ( _because it was somehow true)_ , but it made him feel like he wasn’t worthy of Chanyeol’s attention. Like a mere glance is too much for a low-level person like him.

Most importantly, it made him feel like his feelings would never stand a chance of being reciprocated because who was he anyway to be very fucking honest?

Baekhyun could only sigh as he watched Chanyeol run across the court, dribbling the ball and protecting it from the guest team. He watched as he did his awesome turns and whatnots. He didn’t know what they were called because he spent majority of the time staring at Chanyeol rather than listening to him when he explained all those moves.

He glanced at the time, “Twenty seconds left what the fuck,” then he turned back to Chanyeol who had this serious expression on his face, eyes calculating his next moves. He stepped to fake, which the opponent pathetically fell for, and with a quick jump, he shoots.

It seemed to slow down for a few seconds as the entire student body held their breaths as the ball swirled around the hoop until,

“WOOH!” The roar of the students echoed throughout the gymnasium as they stood up to celebrate the victory of their team. Baekhyun was one of them.

He stood up, mighty proud of his best friend for making the winning shot of the team. He kept clapping his hands until they were bright red from the friction, but Baekhyun couldn’t care less. He felt a nudge on his side and he turned to find Kyungsoo, his second closest friend, smiling at him.

“He did it again.”

Baekhyun nodded excitedly, “Like he always does.”

The basketball team crowded around Chanyeol, lifting him up as he held the big ass trophy with his similarly big ass hands. He lifted it above his head and the crowd cheered once more. The guest team approached them after to congratulate them with back pats and firm handshakes before taking their leave. The students were still so energetic, but it all died down when Park Chanyeol walked up to the commentary table and grabbed the mic.

“Um, hello, excuse me,” he said, tapping the mic repeatedly to make sure it was working. “I just wanted to say something, if that’s okay with everybody, so can you all sit down for a bit?”

Instantly, as if hypnotized by the MVP’s voice, everyone took their seats, albeit a bit confused. However, among all the people in the room, Baekhyun was the most puzzled. He knew everything about his best friend! If he was dared to do something like this, he would have known… but it didn’t seem to be a dare. Yes, the basketball team was looking at him, but they were smiling, as if they were proud and expectant of Chanyeol’s big announcement.

“You see, there’s this particular person who has been inspiring me and motivating me to do my best in these games, because I’m always 100% sure he’s watching,” Chanyeol continued.

Baekhyun’s heart dropped and he turned to Kyungsoo with watery eyes. “I didn’t know this,” he mouthed.

Surprisingly, his friend only offered him a small smile as if he didn’t pity Baekhyun’s broken heart at all, “Just wait,” Kyungsoo mouthed back before turning back to Chanyeol.

Baekhyun reluctantly did the same and found the object of his unrequited love looking around the venue as if he was searching for someone. He could feel his heart breaking into bits, but paid attention because this was his best fucking friend after all. No matter how hurt he is, Chanyeol’s happiness is his damn happiness.

“I’m not really sure where he is, but you could all help me,” the star player continued. “He’s short, about this tall,” he put a hand beside his ear.

“He has brown hair right now, but one time he dyed his hair pink and it was the cutest thing I’ve seen.”

Slowly, all eyes turned to Baekhyun because news flash! Byun Baekhyun was the only person in school who dyed his hair pink and actually pulled it off. Yeah, he was quiet, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t good-looking and didn’t have several people admiring him for his ethereal features.

“And he has the most amazing eye smile I had ever been blessed to see every single day,” Chanyeol’s ears were beginning to turn a shade of red from his shyness, but he continued.

“But the greatest blessing is having him as my best friend.”

Okay, so now everyone was surely looking at Baekhyun, whose eyes were wide and cheeks splashed with a strong shade of pink. He turned to look at Kyungsoo and mouthed, “What the fuck?” Kyungsoo, of course, only replied with a smile and wink.

“Have you seen him? Because I need to tell him that I’ve fallen for him since the day he spent the entire night looking for my missing ferret because I couldn’t stop crying about it,” Chanyeol slowly approached the section where Baekhyun was  _(thank God for wireless mics)._

“Or since the day he gave me the last piece of strawberry even if it was his favorite snack,” the star player was now climbing up the bleachers towards a very flustered Baekhyun.

“Or since the day he first smiled at me, asking me to be his friend, because he didn’t want me to feel alone in class.”

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol and quickly regretted it because if his heart was breaking a while ago, it sure was just melting now. The latter stretched his free hand out and said the words Baekhyun thought he would never have the pleasure to hear in his whole life.

“I love you, Byun Baekhyun,” Chanyeol confessed, his words loud and clear as it reverberated around the place until it reached the deepest corners of the gym.

“Would you go out with me?”

The crowd was silent, as if another ball was shot and they were all waiting for it to fall inside the basket. Baekyun slowly reached out his hand, and everyone’s breaths hitched in anticipation.

“Yes.”

And the students cheered, rising from their seats. Howls and screams were heard and a few claps resounded from here and there in celebration as their star player hoisted his most valuable trophy up, arms wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist as he looked up with pure adoration and love in his eyes for the man he was holding.

Park Chanyeol was truly a winner that day.

 

**_fifteen — loud, so everyone can hear_ **

 


	5. be happy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But that doesn't mean he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning: it's not fluff

**_be happy._ **

 

Chanyeol looked at his reflection for the nth time that day. He probably has spent at least an hour in front of his full body mirror to check if his bowtie was crooked or if his hair needed some more dash of gel. He was really nervous; he only wanted everything to be perfect and special because it was _the_ day. A momentous occasion that meant so much more than legal papers and conjugal properties. It’s a beautiful union between a couple who would vow their eternal love in front of the people who support them the most.

“Chanyeol?” A voice from outside called. Chanyeol turned quickly to the door as it opened, almost getting whiplashed on how fast his head moved.

Kyungsoo poked his head through the small opening and smiled, “It’s time.”

Chanyeol nodded as he walked over to his friend. They walked together to the venue and Chanyeol took his place in front of the altar as Kyungsoo took his place with the band as he was the appointed singer of the wedding.

There were only a few people in the venue, as the couple wanted it to be as personal as possible. Only family and close relatives and friends were sent invitations.

Chanyeol looked around the place and was awe-struck. It was a humble garden with the most beautiful trees he has ever seen. Instead of a white carpet, white petals were spread to represent the aisle with baskets of pink peonies and white roses along the side. It trailed until it reached the altar, which was a huge arch covered in vines, leaves, and pink and white flowers.

 _‘This is truly Baekhyun’s dream wedding,’_ he thought, which was quickly cut off as the band started playing. Everyone stood up, phones and cameras in hand as they waited for the groom to walk down the aisle.

Chanyeol’s world slowed as Baekhyun emerged from the back and walked gracefully down the center. He was as stunning as ever with his white suit and middle parted black hair. A wide smile adorned his face, making his eyes turn into crescents as he held onto his bouquet.

When he neared the altar, Baekhyun flashed a smile to Chanyeol, which he returned. He watched as the former got closer, and when he finally reached the front, Baekhyun once again flashed him a small smile before fully turning to Jongdae,

The groom.

Chanyeol watched with sad eyes as his best friend looked at the love of his life with tenderness and adoration. He made sure to hold his hand to stop himself from raising it when the presider asked if there were any objections. He tried so hard to drown the vows the couple told each other, but all it did was make him hear the sound of his heart breaking into pieces.

He wished he regretted not fighting for Baekhyun, but he didn’t because it made Jongdae happy and Chanyeol wanted nothing more than seeing his best friend smile. Baekhyun was happy as well, and he couldn’t regret sacrificing his happiness if it meant two important people in his life had theirs.

“You may now kiss the groom.”

But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

 

 

 

 

The reception was held inside a small hall near the garden. Kyungsoo took the stage as he sang the songs the couple requested. They were all upbeat at first, until the band decided to slow it down a bit for the couple’s first dance.

Chanyeol smiled slightly as Jongdae and Baekhyun held each other as Kyungsoo sang his own cover of _Can’t Help Falling In Love_. He didn’t realize that it all ended until he got confused on why Baekhyun was stretching out his hand to him.

“Come on, Jongdae and I agreed to dance each other’s best men!” The newlywed said, smiling. Chanyeol internally groaned because he knew he couldn’t say no.

“Fine.”

Baekhyun pulled him to the middle of the dance floor, which many have occupied already. Chanyeol scoffed because it looked more like a prom than a wedding; he wasn’t against it though because he knew that this what was intended in the first place and it was just touching to see people uniting because of love.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when Baekhyun placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as the other lifted his left hand. Chanyeol carefully placed his right hand on the other’s waist and they began to sway to the music.

Chanyeol groaned as Kyungsoo started singing _A Thousand Years_ , as if mocking the time he has waited for Baekhyun, which obviously ended unsuccessfully. He must have shown it on his face because the man he was dancing with started laughing.

“Not in favor of love songs?” Baekhyun asked.

“I just consider it insensitive for my single soul,” Chanyeol answered, eliciting another giggle from the man.

“Then you shouldn’t have attended,” he retorted. “Although, Jongdae might kill you.”

“I’d rather die from Jongdae’s hands than die from my poor lonely heart,” this time Baekhyun’s laughter was louder, earning them some glances, which weren’t too bad since everyone thought it was just Chanyeol being the joker he was.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, had his eyes glued the whole time on the heavenly man holding his hand in dance. Before he could even restrain himself, words drifted off his tongue.

“Hey, Baek,” he started. “Remember when I asked you one time to meet me privately at the park near the neighborhood?”

Baekhyun nodded, confusion already settling in his eyes. He does remember that particular day when Chanyeol texted him to meet at the park. He was studying, but of course, anything for his close friend.

“And I confessed to you about how Jongdae really liked you and asked you to give him a chance,” Chanyeol continued. His heart became heavier and heavier with each word he let go. _This is it,_ he thought.

“Of course, I should probably than-“ But Baekhyun wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Chanyeol spoke once again.

“I… It was the wrong confession. I told you the wrong confession,” he admitted as he faced the ground.

Baekhyun’s eyes were wide in both shock and puzzlement, “What do you mean?”

With a deep breath, Chanyeol looked up, straight into Baekhyun’s eyes. His eyes were already watering and soon enough one tear found its way down his cheek and another and another, but he forced out a small smile.

“I love you, that's what I was supposed to say,” he confessed. He chuckled, laughing at himself for doing this now.

“Funny, right?”

Baekhyun shook his head, eyes already glassy from all the emotions he was feeling, “No, Chanyeol, you don’t mean that.”

“Oh, but I do, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol smiled. “I have for a long time already.”

Chanyeol slowly removed his hand from Baekhyun’s waist and made its way to the latter’s face. He wiped the tears that threatened to fall down with a soft mumble about his make-up getting ruined. Baekhyun couldn’t care less.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun whispered. “I’m sorry.”

The tall best man only nodded in response. _As expected,_ he thought as he slowly let go of their intertwined hands and took a step back from Baekhyun.

“Be happy, Baekhyun-ah,” Chanyeol flashed him a bright smile before leaving Baekhyun on the dance floor as the song reached its end. He quickly wiped his tears away as he stepped out of the venue to take a few breaths and temporary recover from his heartbreak.

Chanyeol knew it was too late and he expected the rejection and the pain, but it hurt nonetheless. He probably should move on. Find another man, so that all the love he has been giving Baekhyun could be given to someone who could actually return it.

Park Chanyeol should definitely let go of his feelings for Byun Baekhyun,

But that doesn’t mean he can.

_I have died everyday waiting for you._

**_thirty-two — in a way i can’t return._ **


	6. my best medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun: part-time boyfriend, part-time caretaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff to make up for all that angst in the previous one ;;

**_my best medicine._ **

 

Byun Baekhyun was many things. He was a son, a brother, a father to Mongryong, a main vocalist in his group, an actor, an entertainer, and lastly, he was Park Chanyeol’s boyfriend.

As a boyfriend, Byun Baekhyun was many things as well. He was a lover, a confidant, an advice giver, a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, and…

“This is what you get for not listening to me, Park,” Baekhyun muttered as Chanyeol sneezed loudly once again.

… a caretaker, apparently.

Chanyeol only pouted at this, unable to speak because of his sore throat accompanied by a runny nose and a slight fever. He was currently wrapped in thick blankets and was ordered to stay at the dorm until he fully recovered. Of course, as his trusty boyfriend, Baekhyun took the initiative to stay with his partner and act like his nurse the entire day. He didn’t actually mind, but the worry, mixed with a tinge of anger for Chanyeol disregarding his health, was hard to dispose of.

“I told you so many times that you shouldn’t overwork yourself, yet here you are!” Baekhyun continued. “Do you even listen to me? Because I swear this is like the seventh time you came home sick!”

His boyfriend pouted once more before reaching for his phone and clicking the notes app. Baekhyun only stood beside his bed, hand on his hip, as Chanyeol typed his response as quick as he could. After, he lifted his phone in front of Baekhyun’s face so that his tiny lover could read it.

 _‘I’m sorry. Please don’t get mad at me, I’m sick!!!’_ It read. Baekhyun scoffed and raised his eyebrows.

“Who the fuck is to blame that you’re sick?” He asked. Chanyeol dropped his head in response and fiddled with his phone; Baekhyun only sighed at this.

“I’m going to heat the soup Kyungsoo left for you to eat,” he said as he grabbed his boyfriend’s phone from his big hands. “Don’t use your phone while I’m away, it might give you a headache. Just lie down and rest.”

Chanyeol nodded then slid down the bed and let Baekhyun pull up the covers to make sure he was warm and cozy. The petite man was about to leave when Chanyeol grabbed his hand and then pointed to his forehead. Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but leaned in anyways. He placed a chaste kiss on the tall baby’s forehead, knowing that’s what he wanted. He also appreciated that his boyfriend didn’t ask one on the lips in fear of Baekhyun catching a fever as well.

“I’ll be back, Yeol.”

With that, Baekhyun exited the room and went to the kitchen. He wasn’t the best cook, so he was really thankful when Kyungsoo agreed to his request of making a simple chicken soup for Chanyeol. He noted in his head to return the favor in the future because he knew how busy the doe-eyed boy was nowadays.

When the soup was heating inside the microwave, Baekhyun grabbed a chair and dragged it so that he could reach the goddamn medicine cabinet which was too high for someone like him to reach.

 _‘I swear for something that we need at least five times a week, it’s so fucking hard to get,”_ Baekhyun thought as he extended his hand to reach for the paracetamol. He successfully grabbed it, but due to his constant motion, the chair staggered causing him to fall ungracefully on the floor on his butt.

He knew he made quite a noise because he could hear loud footsteps coming from the bedroom. Chanyeol probably went out of bed to check if he was okay. Baekhyun figured this out and shouted,

“I’m fine, Chanyeol! Go back to bed or else!”

The footsteps stopped for a while then Baekhyun heard it again, this time he was sure Chanyeol padded away back to the comforts of the bed. He sighed and stood up, dusting off his backside and stretching it a bit to reduce the pain of the fall. The microwave beeped and the acting caretaker quickly grabbed a kitchen glove to retrieve the soup. He placed the bowl on a tray with a glass of water, a spoon, and the medicine he worked hard to get.

When all was set, Baekhyun carefully lifted the tray and headed to his patient’s room.

“Here you go, eat up,” he said as he placed the tray on the nightstand and handed Chanyeol the bowl and spoon, only to be refused with a shake of the latter’s head.

“You need to eat this, Yeol!” Chanyeol shook his head again. He pointed at Baekhyun then at the spoon then at himself. His boyfriend was initially puzzled until it dawned to him what Chanyeol was trying to say.

Baekhyun groaned and placed the bowl and spoon down before grabbing the nearest chair and placing it beside Chanyeol. When he was all set, he held the bowl of soup once again and scooped a portion of it with the spoon. Baekhyun made sure to blow it since it was hot before lifting up to his childish boyfriend’s lips.

Chanyeol accepted it happily and Baekhyun couldn’t refrain from smiling at the man’s antics.

“You’re such a baby when you’re sick… Wait, no, you’re already a baby so you’re babier..?” Baekhyun commented. Chanyeol let out a chuckle which eventually became a cough. Baekhyun patted his back and offered him the water.

When Chanyeol’s coughing fit was gone, Baekhyun continued feeding him until there was nothing left. He made sure that Chanyeol drank his medicine before tucking him once again. The rapper’s eyes were already dropping and Baekhyun took this that his lover wanted to get some sleep.

He grabbed the tray and was about to leave once again until Chanyeol pulled his shirt.

“I love you,” he said, although a bit inaudible because of his sore throat. Baekhyun smiled at the effort.

“I love you, too,” Baekhyun replied before leaning in to peck Chanyeol on the lips. To hell with catching a fever, his boyfriend was too cute to resist.

Chanyeol widened his eyes, but smiled anyway. He tugged at Baekhyun then with his free hand, patted the space beside him.

 _‘Come and sleep with me,’_ he mouthed. He smiled wide when Baekhyun nodded as he placed the tray back on the nightstand then crawled his way to claim the space on the bed.

Chanyeol quickly took him in his embrace, wrapping his arms around the singer’s waist and pulling him closer. He felt the black mop of hair tickle his face and also felt Baekhyun’s hands making his way around his body as well.

Baekhyun placed a chaste kiss on Chanyeol’s chest directly at the place where his heart should be, which Chanyeol responded with one on the man’s forehead.

“Sleep already,” he heard Baekhyun mumble. Chanyeol looked down to see the boy’s eyes coming to a close and soon enough the puppy-like yelps were heard. He sighed contently before shutting his eyes.

Chanyeol drifted off to sleep in no time, knowing fully well that the man he wanted to spend all his days with, may it be the good ones, the bad ones, and even the sick ones like this, was in his very arms.

 

**_two — with a hoarse voice, under the blankets._ **


	7. hear my heartbeat thunder.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun found Chanyeol's heartbeat soothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i'm sorry for not updating for so long ;; i had no time since i was doing things at school and having little to no sleep because of exo's comeback (the war is a masterpiece i cried listening to it) anyway, enjoy~ (and btw, did you see the chanbaek in the nature republic video ahHhhHhH)

**_hear my heartbeat thunder._ **

 

Chanyeol huffed in annoyance as he slammed his apartment’s door shut. He was currently drenched in rain and was leaving droplets all over the wooden floor as he walked over to the bathroom. He immediately discarded his soaked clothes and entered the shower. Chanyeol sighed in relief when the warm water hit his body. When he was done, he quickly wrapped a towel around his lower body and walked out to change into some clothes.

The pink-haired man looked out of his full-body sized windows and saw the rain still continuing its descent. It was stronger than before Chanyeol got home, so it only meant one thing: the weatherman was a fucking liar. The old man in his television informed the general public that it would be a sunny day today with no chances of rain.

“Bullshit weather forecasts,” Chanyeol mumbled as he grabbed a hoodie and some sweatpants. He might as well be comfortable because he would be working in his apartment for the rest of the night, because the shitty rain messed up the electricity in his studio.

Yes, Park Chanyeol was a top producer in the music industry. Composing and writing hit songs for many idols, he gained popularity almost instantly; however, it wasn’t exactly an easy task. It required sleepless nights and tons of research to ensure that no plagiarism was to happen. Nevertheless, Chanyeol loved his job, and would continue his work at home despite having the weather as a passable excuse.

He huddled inside his little office that he set up in his apartment, in case there were times he wouldn’t be able to work in his studio, like right now. It was serene for some time before a flash of light suddenly appeared followed by a loud sound of thunder. Chanyeol jumped in his rolling chair, surprised that he heard the thunder despite wearing his headphones. He glanced at his windows once again and saw that the rain was pouring hard, almost as if it was a storm.

Chanyeol should probably watch a different channel in the morning because the current one he was tuned into obviously gave false weather reports.

He turned back to his work and increased the volume. Soon, he was bopping his head to a fresh beat he made, completely oblivious of the frantic knocking on his apartment door. Only when he stood up for a break did he hear it.

“Chanyeol? Chanyeol, are you there?” A shaking voice called.

Said man widened his eyes and looked outside to see the rain stronger than ever accompanied by lightning and thunder. Very. Very. Very. Loud. Thunder.

“Shit,” he whispered as he hurriedly opened the door. He expected the tackle that came right after as he held the whimpering petite man in his arms.

“I-I t-thought you weren’t h-home!” The black-haired visitor cried. “I was dying outside! It was so scary!”  

“I’m so sorry, Baekhyun. I completely forgot you were scared of lightning and thunder,” Chanyeol whispered while patting the boy’s back in hopes of calming him down. He closed the door and with his strength, carried Baekhyun to the living room with no difficulty.

The couple laid down on the couch with Baekhyun still encased in Chanyeol’s arms. Byun Baekhyun was his cute and smart boyfriend for four years. The one who inspired him to pursue his dreams of becoming a producer, and the one he often asked to sing his demos for him. Baekhyun currently owned a successful bakery in Seoul and he was currently in work when the rain started. Chanyeol felt guilty that it didn’t even cross his mind to call his astraphobic boyfriend.

“I-It’s o-AHH!” Baekhyun screamed as thunder once again boomed loudly. Chanyeol tightened his hold around his lover while whispering comforting words such as _I’m here_ and _It won’t hurt you_ in his ears. However, phobias weren’t all that easy to cure so Baekhyun was still shaking and crying in his arms.

Chanyeol honestly hated when this happened. He hated seeing Baekhyun crying because of fear. He hated seeing Baekhyun crying. Period.

“Wait a minute, I’m gonna get something that might help you,” Chanyeol said as he sat up and placed Baekhyun on the couch. The other guy whimpered because he didn’t want to be left alone. Chanyeol smiled before placing a chaste kiss on his lips, “I promise I’ll be quick.”

And Chanyeol was. Using his long legs the right way, he dashed around the place, grabbing the following: an mp3 player, his best earphones, fluffy blankets and pillows, and Baekhyun’s favorite hoodie of his.

“I’m back,” he announced as he quickly lifted Baekhyun up to slip the hoodie on. He placed the pillows in a way that they’ll both be comfortable. He laid down on the couch with Baekhyun in between his legs, head on his chest with both of them covered with the blanket. Finally, Chanyeol plugged the earphones in the mp3 player and chose a ballad song Chanyeol has composed for singer Do Kyungsoo.

This was all done in record time before another flash of lightning graced the sky and the expected thunder following. Baekhyun was shocked but quickly calmed down when he realized the sound of thunder was muffled by his favorite singer’s soothing voice.

“Is it helping?” Chanyeol asked, looking down on his boyfriend. Baekhyun nodded, but frowned when he realized that his lover didn’t get to hear the song.

He removed one earpiece and placed it in Chanyeol’s ear. The taller immediately refused.

“You need both to mute the thunder, Baek.”

Baekhyun smiled and shook his head, “I can always listen to this instead,” he said before placing his earpiece less ear above Chanyeol’s beating heart.

Chanyeol almost squealed at the sight, “It’s beating just for you. I love you.”

Baekhyun looked up and laughed, “It’s beating, so that it could supply blood to your body, you cheesy dumbo!” He placed a short kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, “But I’m glad to know that.”

“And?” Chanyeol urged, a content smile on his lips.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but gave another kiss, “And I love you too.”

The couple continued cuddling as the rain continued pouring outside. The lightning and thunder were beginning to lessen, but Chanyeol and Baekhyun paid no attention to it as they were in their own world.

They soon drifted off to sleep; Chanyeol, with the help of his boyfriend’s puppy-like whimpers and Baekhyun, with the help of his boyfriend’s thunderous heartbeat.

 

 

 

“Hey, love?” Chanyeol called. It was the next day and this time, hopefully, the sun will continue to shine.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you have a key to my apartment? Why did you have to knock?” The producer continued. Baekhyun widened his eyes.

“Fuck, I totally forgot! I only brought my apartment keys with me to work!” he said, slapping a hand on his forehead. Chanyeol just laughed and hugged his boyfriend from behind, placing his chin on the puppy boy’s shoulder.

“Then, why don’t you just…” Chanyeol trailed. Baekhyun moved his head to the side to look at Chanyeol.

“Hmm?”

“Why don’t you just move in with me?”

And the whole morning was filled with kisses and cuddles as the sun held its place outside in the sky. The weatherman was fortunately right this time; it was indeed a bright day.

 

**_twenty — as we huddle together, the storm raging outside._ **


	8. it's alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being an idol takes a negative toll on Baekhyun and Chanyeol reminds him that he's not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello~~~~ the song used here is I'll hug you by Standing Egg! I'll link a video with eng trans so that everyone can listen to it and hopefully, be comforted through this song. thank you for reading~ I'll put the link on the title! this is hurt/comfort with a dash of fluff. i hope you enjoy it! (p.s. bold italicized words are the romanizations while italicized words are the eng trans!)

[ **_it’s alright._ ** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV2K3sYYdcc&index=2&list=RDGOTxuK7Lp5M)

 

Baekhyun had several insecurities that clogged up his mind. He knew that there were useless to have because no one was perfect. He wasn’t even close despite spending his free time practicing and training so that he could improve. Those thoughts lingered in his head all the time, buried deep until it finds the most awful time to surface and flood Baekhyun’s mind.

Those were his worst days that often got the best of him. The days when his members would cast him worried glances and would ask him if he was okay, in which he’ll weakly reply with a doubtful “Yes.” They knew it was a lie, but it was how they were taught to answer, to act. It hurt them, of course, that Baekhyun kept everything to himself, but it was understandable why. All of them go through similar problems and worries, Baekhyun didn’t want to burden people with his own.

The EXO members all groaned as they entered the dorm. Normally this time, people would be fast asleep in their beds, but for them it was only the beginning. After grueling hours of practicing and perfecting their new song, they’ll finally get a chance to rest before they start the cycle once again.

“Sleep well, guys,” Junmyeon called out to them before entering his shared room with Sehun. The youngest followed afterwards, mumbling a small _good night_ before closing the door behind them.

Minseok and Jongdae also went straight to their room, telling the members to have a good rest as they passed by. Kyungsoo was the next to enter his room also greeting his friends before completely shutting the door.

Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Jongin were the ones left in the living room. Yixing was currently in China, but they were sure that he was as tired as they were with all the schedules he’s been keeping up with. Jongin grabbed a bottle of water before heading to his room. He patted the two’s backs with a whisper of “Good night, hyungs,” as he went to bask himself in his bed.

When everyone was gone, Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun and asked the question that’s been lingering in his mind, “Hey, are you okay?” He took one small step towards Baekhyun, reaching to touch his arm in an attempt to comfort him.

“Y-yeah,” Baekhyun forced out a small smile, “Of course.”

Chanyeol knew it was a lie. Today was a bad day for Baekhyun. He kept on fumbling during the dance and kept forgetting the next moves. When they were singing, the man was so frustrated because his voice kept cracking and Chanyeol swore that he saw tears threatening to fall down his boyfriend’s face.

But Baekhyun was always like this, always trying to be strong when he didn’t have to. Always trying to assure people that he was fine with a small smile.

Chanyeol admired him for this, but sometimes he wished that Baekhyun would realize that crying or breaking down isn’t a form of weakness nor was it a burden. He just wanted the love of his life to be free in expressing his emotions, even the darkest ones. He badly wanted to force out the problems out of Baekhyun, but that wouldn’t help at all.

Instead he says, “Okay, want to sleep with me tonight? I missed cuddling with you.”

Baekhyun seemed to slightly lighten up at this as he quickly nodded at the offer, accepting it with excitement. Chanyeol chuckled and slid down the hand that was holding the other’s arm until it reached the beautiful hand he hoped he could hold forever.

“Let’s go, then.”

 

 

Once they settled in bed, all changed into comfier clothes, Chanyeol immediately wound his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, pulling him close.

“You know that I’m always here, right?” He mumbled, tightening his hold around the puppy boy.

Baekhyun only nodded, but never gave a reply. They just spent a good amount of time lying there in comfortable silence. It was what they needed the most after all; serene places, out of the screams and shouts and the music reverberating around them. They loved their job, their fans, and the people around them,

But they were still human beings with emotions that fill their heart until it burst. Emotions that shouldn’t be disregarded just because they were pinned to an image everyone believed. Emotions that they felt, despite having to act like they didn’t.

“Yeol,” Baekhyun whispered hesitantly, afraid that the taller might be sleeping already. Chanyeol hummed in response, proving otherwise.

“Can you sing me a song?” He requested. The other looked down to see Baekhyun’s eyes already looking up at him, expectant.

“Okay, what song?” Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun only responded with a soft “Whatever song you like.”

Chanyeol nodded, knowing already what song he wanted to sing for Baekhyun. It was a song that conveyed his emotions and hopefully, his tiny lover will believe in him more than ever. He cleared his throat,

“Make sure you listen to every word, okay?” He asked before starting. Baekhyun nodded as he shifted closer to Chanyeol, hoping through that he’d be able to hear more.

Chanyeol cleared his throat once again then began singing.

**_Geureon nari itji_ **

_This kinda day exist_

 

His voice was raspy and a bit unsteady because of all the strain he had to put on it today, but Baekhyun loved hearing it anyway.

 

**_Nunmuri mak nalgeot gateun geureon nal_ **

_The day when you feel like crying_

 

**_Geodneun geotmajeo himgyeobdago neuggyeojil ddae_ **

_When you feel too tired to walk_

 

**_Ne gyeote geu nugudo mollajul ddae_ **

_You don't even know who will be there beside you_

 

Chanyeol closed his eyes. This song was meant for Baekhyun but somehow he’s the one holding back his tears. He remembered all the things they’ve been through, not just as a couple, but as part of the group.

 

**_It's alright, it's alright_ **

 

**_Naega neol anajulke_ **

_I will give you a hug_

 

**_Naepume angyeo maeumkkeot ureo anajulke_ **

_You can cry your heart out on my arms while I hug you_

 

Baekhyun hugged Chanyeol closer, tighter, as his giant boyfriend sang every word full of emotion. The smaller listened to it intently, this was, after all, Chanyeol’s feelings.

 

**_It's alright, it's alright_ **

 

**_Naega da deureojulke_ **

_I will listen to you_

 

**_Amuegedo mal mothan ne mam naega deurojulke_ **

_Even things you cannot say, I will listen to your heart_

 

Chanyeol’s voice started shaking as more memories filled his mind. All those days he watched Baekhyun force out a smile. All those days he held himself back as he read all those nasty things people have commented about the man. All those days that Baekhyun must have felt so alone, surrounded by people who constantly bashed him despite not even personally knowing him.

It must have been painful, and as Baekhyun’s boyfriend, all he wanted to do was protect him, but it was unrealistic. They couldn’t please everyone, but it was so difficult to see Baekhyun trying to.

 

**_Geureon nari itji_ **

_This kinda day exist_

 

Baekhyun looked up at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice shaking. He saw the giant with his eyes closed, a sign that he was indeed full of emotion that Baekhyun felt with every lyric sang. He, himself, started tearing up as he realized how lucky he was to have people like his members; to have people like Chanyeol.

 

**_Modeun geol da nohko sipeun geureon nal_ **

_The day when you wanna throw everything_

 

**_Georagadeol giri beogeopdago neukkyeojil ddae_ **

_When even walking is too much for you_

 

**_Ne gyeote geu nugudo mollajul ddae_ **

_You don't even know who will be there beside you_

 

If it was possible to hug someone more than what Baekhyun was doing, then he probably has done it. He buried his head in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck, making him hear the man better.

 

**_It's alright, it's alright_ **

 

**_Naega neol anajulke_ **

_I will give you a hug_

 

**_Naepume angyeo maeumkkeot ureo anajulke_ **

_You can cry your heart out on my arms while I hug you_

 

And as the lyrics offered, as Chanyeol’s heart offered, Baekhyun did. His whole body started shaking as he sobbed everything he felt right there. The pressure, the hate, the disappointment; Baekhyun let it all out. Chanyeol’s neck was wet with his tears, but the other didn’t mind. Instead, he hugged Baekhyun tighter, an action that said _‘I’m here.’_

 

**_It's alright, it's alright_ **

 

**_Naega da deureojulke_ **

_I will listen to you_

 

**_Amuegedo mal mothan ne mam naega deurojulke_ **

_Even things you cannot say, I will listen to your heart_

 

Chanyeol felt tears of his own fall down silently on his cheeks. It was heartbreaking to hear Baekhyun cry, but this was what the man felt. This is an emotion that proved that they were humans as well, not just perfect idols who sing and dance for the public. Not just idols, who have to act like they’re fine every single day, even when they’re not in the spotlight.

 

**_Deureojulke_ **

_I will listen to you_

 

Despite everything, Chanyeol still felt his heart’s burden lessen. It was somehow relieving that Baekhyun has finally released all those hidden emotions that intoxicated his mind with negative thoughts.

Finally, Baekhyun was opening up.

 

**_Deureojulke_ **

_I will listen to you_

 

Soon, the small man was only sniffling, cries beginning to die down. Chanyeol pulled away slightly to look at his boyfriend’s face and found it amusing that Baekhyun could still look amazing despite being fresh from a full-blown crying session.

 

**_Deureojulke_ **

_I will listen to you_

 

Baekhyun smiled slightly as his lover wiped away his tears. He felt so loved and so cherished, and finally he understood,

He wasn’t alone.

 

**_Naega anajulke_ **

_I will hug you_

 

After Chanyeol finished singing, he filled Baekhyun’s face with light kisses. The latter just giggled at this before kissing him on the lips properly.

 _Thank you_ , Baekhyun would have said, but he didn’t want to break the silence that once again covered them. A more comfortable one than before, one where he felt safe despite the darkness of the room.

He looked at Chanyeol once more before resting his head on the man’s chest. Chanyeol only smiled fondly.

 _I love you,_ he would have said, but he deemed that the song was enough to convey that. He hoped it reached his love’s heart, and it did.

Baekhyun finally realized that in this world full of people that criticize him and hate him, there are also people who support him and love him. He had his fans, his family, his members, and most of all, he had Chanyeol.  

And with this thought, he closed his eyes with a smile, drifting off to sleep with a light heart.

 

 

**_twenty-three — through a song._ **


	9. lovesick fool.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could feel his heart breaking and breaking again like it was in an endless cycle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost a year since i updated,,, school's been really tough i'm so sorry!!! but here's one inspired by the many sad fics i've been reading. i'll try to update more~

**_lovesick fool._ **

 

 

Baekhyun was not stupid.

The moment he looked into his husband’s eyes one day, he knew that love was beginning to fade. His actions were starting to become colder each day they spent together, which Baekhyun absolutely hated. The brief replies and the cold shoulder really frustrated him, but Baekhyun couldn’t bear to give up. Despite everything, he still loved Chanyeol dearly and would do anything to fix their broken relationship.

“Chanyeol, I prepared breakfast for you,” Baekhyun said with a big smile plastered on his face as Chanyeol stepped out of their shared room. His husband only nodded in reply and grabbed for his briefcase then started heading to the door.

“You’re not going to eat?” Baekhyun asked, running after Chanyeol only to see him putting his shoes on.

“I have an early meeting, I’ll just grab something to eat later,” and with that his husband was out the door. Baekhyun sighed, another breakfast gone to waste he guessed.

However, Park Baekhyun wasn’t someone to be discouraged so easily. He washed the pans and pots he used and got ready to make the best lunch Chanyeol would ever taste that would surely make his husband come crawling back to him. He’d deliver it to him personally to his office and surprise him with it, like he used to do when they started dating back then.

Baekhyun left the house a little bit past 11 am, so that he’d arrive on time for his husband’s lunch break. He carried Chanyeol’s lunch with him as he entered the building, greeting the guard and some of his husband’s office workers who knew him. He rode the elevator up to Chanyeol’s office and was greeted by his secretary, Kyungsoo, who was oddly alarmed to see him.

“B-Baekhyun! What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asked. Baekhyun laughed and showed him the lunch he made.

“I came here to see Chanyeol, but it’s nice seeing you again, Soo,” he replied.

“Look, Baekhyun, I don’t think you should go see Mr. Park right now, he’s kind of busy-“ Kyungsoo explained, blocking Baekhyun from going in, but Baekhyun was having none of it and grabbed the handle of the door.

“Don’t worry, I’m just here to drop off his lunch and I’ll be on my way, just-“ Baekhyun stopped his actions completely when he heard giggles from the other side of the door. He opened the door a little to hear and see more and what greeted him broke his heart instantly.

There, inside Chanyeol’s office, was his husband with a girl wrapped around his arms. They were smiling to each other while giggling softly. Baekhyun felt his cheeks began to get wet and he realized that he was crying.

“I love you,” he heard Chanyeol say loud and clear to the girl, “I love you so much.”

Baekhyun slowly and quietly closed the door. He turned to Kyungsoo, head down, refusing to meet the other’s eyes.

“You knew about this, Soo?” he asked.

Kyungsoo nodded sadly, “Yes.”

Baekhyun scoffed. He looked up, hoping it’d make the tears stop falling, but they won’t and Baekhyun didn’t know what to do. It hurt too much and he could feel his heart breaking and breaking again like it was in an endless cycle.

Before Kyungsoo could explain, Baekhyun shoved the lunch he made in Kyungsoo’s hands.

“Tell him I came by and to eat his lunch on time. Tell him I’m sorry I couldn’t hand it myself because I saw that he was _busy_. Thank you, Kyungsoo. I think I’d never see you again.”

And with that Baekhyun left the building.

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol kissed Rose once more before he escorted her out of his office. When he bid her goodbye, he turned to see his secretary standing in front of him holding an all too familiar lunch bag. His eyes immediately widened at this.

“Kyungsoo, what’s this?” he asked, hoping to God he won’t receive the answer he’s been dreading.

With a sad smile, Kyungsoo replied, “Mr. Baekhyun came by today. He said he wished for you to eat it on time. He said sorry because he couldn’t give it to you personally because you were _busy_.”

“No… No, no, no! You’ve got to be kidding me!” Chanyeol shouted. Kyungsoo only smiled sadly once again.

Chanyeol quickly ran out of the building and drove home. When he got to his house, it was extremely quiet. He opened the door to his and Baekhyun’s shared room only to see his husband closing the zipper of his suitcase. Baekhyun looked up to see Chanyeol enter and all he could do was give him a smile.

“You’re back early,” he whispered, voice cracking from all the crying.

“Baek, I can explain,” Chanyeol started, but Baekhyun only laughed, completely cutting him off.

“I think you can’t call me that anymore. I think we can’t call each other any nicknames anymore, Park,” Baekhyun said. Chanyeol remained silent, head bowed in shame.

It remained quiet between them until small sniffles were heard. Chanyeol shot his head up immediately to see Baekhyun’s tears running down his cheeks, staring at his husband with this extreme sadness and pain in his eyes that Chanyeol knew he caused. Chanyeol’s initial reflex was to hug the smaller, but he figured that he didn’t have permission to do that anymore.

“What went wrong, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked, voice shaking. “What went fucking wrong for you to do that?”

“Baekhyun, I’m sorry.“

“You’re sorry? Sorry for what Chanyeol? Sorry for everything you’ve done? Sorry for lying to me after all this time I was trying to make us work again? Are you sorry that you don’t love me anymore so you had to cheat?” Baekhyun was shouting now. His fists were balled at his sides, a sign that he was angry.

Angry at Chanyeol. Angry at that girl. Angry at himself.

“Are you sorry that you threw 7 years of marriage behind you without even trying to gain it back or are you just sorry because it was never planned that I find out like this?” Baekhyun screamed.

Chanyeol’s heart broke at this because it was the truth, because Baekhyun was slapping him hard with the truth. But what right did he have to get heartbroken and hurt when he was foolish enough to do such thing?

So he said the words he knew to say, “I’m sorry.” Even though he knew Baekhyun deserved so much more.

“I know, and I’m sorry, too, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said as he lifted up his suitcase and headed for the door. He didn’t look back despite hearing the sobs of his husband, too afraid that he might come running back.

No, this time he was tired of trying. This time it was goodbye.

 

 

_**ten ** _— not said to me._**** _


End file.
